{"id":263,"date":"2018-12-09T20:24:53","date_gmt":"2018-12-10T01:24:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.davidhowardpsychologist.com\/blog\/?p=263"},"modified":"2018-12-09T22:14:05","modified_gmt":"2018-12-10T03:14:05","slug":"daves-christmas-story-2-0","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.davidhowardpsychologist.com\/blog\/?p=263","title":{"rendered":"Dave’s Christmas Story 2.0"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"3<\/a>
\nI expect there are several pathways into the seasonal spirit. Of shedding light on the \u2018true meaning\u2019 of that annual flurry of activity that seizes our culture and compels all manner of uncharacteristic acts in the otherwise private, reticent, and conservative bunch that we are. We are (briefly) possessed of urges that force us outside in the nascent days of winter \u2014 when common sense suggests we should be hunkering down in the warm, dark confines of our respective (and socially removed) burrows for a \u2018long winter\u2019s nap\u2019. <\/p>\n

The subtle pressure began on one of those very early December days when it\u2019s too easy to convince ourselves that the winter may be a \u2018light one\u2019. When the temperatures climb into \u2018double digits\u2019, the sun comes out, and so do the neighbors, ladders, tie wraps, and strings, nets, icicles, spots, and increasingly, laser-projected light shows. Resurrecting (bit of a premature allusion, but. . . ) the archived pic of last year\u2019s display, I go in search of \u2018the box\u2019. The consolidation of all things electrical and seasonal. My wife had carefully rolled, wrapped, and labelled the various configurations of lights and support paraphernalia. So step one was easily managed. I allow a brief exhale.<\/p>\n

Schooled well in the early, less reliable days of Christmas lighting \u2014 when my father would descend from the attic and begin methodically \u2018testing\u2019 each string before threading them on the tree \u2014 I plugged and replugged our current candidates. Not bad. All strings, check. \u2018Shrub nets\u2019, check \u2014 lit but possibly best chucked in favor of less tangled matrices. Extension cords \u2014 in themselves a \u2018festive\u2019 array of greens, blacks, oranges, reds, and yellows \u2014 check. Pre-lit artificial trees, hmm. In need of a little supplemental plumping. <\/p>\n

As any student of the Griswold\u2019s \u2018Christmas Vacation\u2019 will know \u2014 and shrinks from the image \u2014 the easy part is stringing. The greater challenge is connecting one\u2019s creative and far-flung outdoor display to a single electrical source. In my childhood, the \u2018outdoors\u2019 were linked to \u2018power\u2019 via one, decidedly suspect cord, threaded through the mail slot, into the front hall closet, under its mirrored door, covered by the foyer carpet and inserted into an ungrounded \u2018adapter\u2019, screwed into a little-used light socket.<\/p>\n

A bit too smugly perhaps, hubris being a bitch, I unroll and lay out my contemporary \u2018connective tissue\u2019. The \u2018light to light\u2019 two-prongers, the multi-headed, grounded, construction graders, and all those wonderfully creative thingies that bridge one cord to another \u2014 and ultimately into one, photo-cell activated, programmable timer. <\/p>\n

Noma, being a visionary company, has long-recognized \u2014 and traded on \u2014 the truth of necessity\u2019s relationship to invention. The \u2018kit\u2019, including a two-outlet Y-adapter, pigtail adapter, and three-outlet heavy duty adapter, had been proactively purchased last year. With the modest upgrades in this year\u2019s configuration, I was good \u2014 right up to the final, magical confluence where, like all the streams and rivulets feeding the mighty Mississippi and finding their way into the Gulf, that ultimate connection of display to timer is made. One power tap, 3-outlet adapter short.<\/p>\n

Canadian Tire: the big box that manages to strike a balance amongst ample stock, good value, an extra disabled parking spot or two, attentive and helpful staff, and positioning its Christmas displays adjacent to the entrance. \u2018That\u2019s more electrical than seasonal \u2014 try aisle 49B, back corner of the store\u2019.<\/p>\n

I join another customer and, after a few shared circuits of said aisle, strike a bargain with him: \u2018If you find one of these\u2019, pointing to the item shrink-wrapped as part of the aforementioned \u2018kit\u2019, \u2018could you grab it for me?\u2019 In return I promised to be on the lookout for a six-foot, 14 gauge, grounded extension cord \u2014 evidently on the endangered electrical species list as well. No joy \u2014 and time to call in reinforcements. As we waited, we exchanged dark thoughts: he of cutting the desired length of cord from its much longer sib; I prying open \u2018the kit\u2019 for the only piece I needed. He allowing that his solution was likely illegal and I envisioning the dialogue at checkout as no bar code was forthcoming, thought better of either call.<\/p>\n

Staff arrives and I indicate my quarry. \u2018Should be right here\u2019. Empty box. \u2018Says there\u2019s 23 in the store; I\u2019ll check upstairs\u2019. My co-shopper has retreated. I wait. My helper returns, empty-handed. \u2018Things get shifted this time of year \u2014 maybe try our Christmas section.\u2019 I re-plead my case to the \u2018seasonal young man\u2019 who nods knowingly and adopts a sympathetic, but resigned look: \u2018We have them and you\u2019re welcome to wait, but. . . \u2018 On to Home Hardware, cursing my inner Scot for not having bought the $20 package to get a $5 plug. <\/p>\n

Another swing and a miss; so desperate times call for desperate measures. A telephone consult from HH\u2019s parking lot with my ever-resourceful neighbour: \u2018The Dollar Store for two bucks; had lots\u2019 \u2014 and I\u2019m off again. It may have been the imposing line at check out or my sinking awareness that Dollar Stores are a cash only operation \u2014 and me with a health card and Visa in my pocket, but nary a looney to be seen \u2014 that took me to TSC and an end to the odyssey. Eight bucks . . . but who cares. We\u2019re plugged, timed, and illuminated.<\/p>\n

So that\u2019s the story . . . and it\u2019s near enough Christmas \u2014 so it qualifies. At least as much as the compulsive shopping, the electrifying of most everything in sight, the inflatable penguins and minions, the relentlessly muzak-ed big boxes (and little boutiques), the last gasp of conviviality before the \u2018real winter\u2019 descends, and the season that binds Black Friday (not to be confused with Good Friday) to Ordinary Time. But that\u2019s another story. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I expect there are several pathways into the seasonal spirit. Of shedding light on the \u2018true meaning\u2019 of that annual flurry of activity that seizes our culture and compels all manner of uncharacteristic acts in the otherwise private, reticent, and conservative bunch that we are. We are (briefly) possessed of urges that force us outside […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhowardpsychologist.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/263"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhowardpsychologist.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhowardpsychologist.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhowardpsychologist.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhowardpsychologist.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=263"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhowardpsychologist.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/263\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":272,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhowardpsychologist.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/263\/revisions\/272"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhowardpsychologist.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhowardpsychologist.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=263"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhowardpsychologist.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=263"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}