Ay, There’s the Rub

To glove or not to glove . . . sorry, Hal, but that’s no longer the question! That gauntlet got tossed (down) a long time ago. The quandary now, to continue the Prince’s equivocating ways, is which glove?

The most complicated piece of prep before heading to the grocery store used to be remembering the list. Smart phones kinda obviated that bit. Then came the days of reusable string bags. Aside having to excavate and disentangle from all the other trunk junk, that one got solved too: get a green bin. And now it’s the glove dilemma. So many choices, so many considerations. With the weather finally warming, sliding by with the winter woolies just doesn’t fool anyone anymore. And so a brief primmer on the pro’s and con’s of what’s out there:

IMG_1366The beauty at the left is fast becoming ‘standard issue’. Cheap, disposable, chic (if black is still the new black), and available thru’ my son in law’s generosity. (He keeps a, now dwindling supply for work on the oilier jobs with his 2CV — tantamount to surgical procedures in some instances). I’ve ‘test-driven’ this model. Easy off, full tactile experience (whatever that means), and clearly (as long as Simon’s supply holds out) affordable. The rub, as it were, is ‘easy off’ does not mean ‘easy on’. Anticipating the problem, I spent some considerable time in our parking garage (to avoid embarrassing moments in the store lot) donning these babies. I found ‘pre-stretching’ an essential: standing on the cuff and pulling upwards, gently but firmly, toward the knee. (A measure of economy is lost with several pairs being lost to the process.) Then looping the (now expanded) cuff over the opposing thumb, clenching teeth over same (cuff, not thumb) and pulling for all one’s worth. Makes donning compression socks look like a dream — or just maybe a viable alternative.

IMG_1367The latex-faced, nubby-palmed construction model has much to recommend it. Unlike it’s limp sibling (above), it’s a breeze to put on. No more dropped bottles of cheap red, boasting excellent qualities of adhesion to those slippery surfaces. And no risk of incidental electrocution. Downside: punching the touch screen on your smart phone is a fool’s errand. The ease of on and off is compromised with the need to do just that, several hundred times — as the list fades to black. Expensive, but washable, reusable and not wholly unattractive.

B450DE68-BD93-4671-89E3-24AFCB773447_1_201_aThe Jack and Jill is next up. Gender accommodating, for those of us born in the mid-last century. Readily available in most households — although the provenance of used gloves may need to be confirmed if found under the bathroom sink. Covid-19 is one thing; residual . . . well, best left to the imagination. Smart screen responsiveness can be variable.

IMG_1369Sadly, the hockey bag, the cycling shelf, and / or the baseball locker, despite offering up a wealth of choice, have some obvious limitations, generally begging the question.shopping-1shopping

And so to Prince Hamlet’s parting ambivalence:

Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of germs
And by opposing end them.

Not an easy call!

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